Even if I end up getting some module that falls into the second tier of my choices, it still means I'm meant to get it, for SOME reason. Some good reason, maybe.
Can't believe I only slept from 11.45pm to 2.41am.
Yesterday's badminton session totally wore me out. I haven't moved that quickly, swung my arms so hard, and took so many leaps and strides within just 2 hours in a very very long time. Of cos I wasn't as agile as I was before, but every smash, every net shot and every lob nevertheless provided the sense of gratification that I realised I so dearly missed in each game. It's an entirely different kind of satisfaction from yoga. Really glad I can have the best of both worlds :)
Anyway, after snapping awake in the middle of the night, I couldn't fall back to sleep. Usually I'd force myself to indulge in emotionally heavy thoughts that would summon me back to dreamland, but it didn't work this time =/ After tossing and turning for another 2 hours, I gave up, groped in the dark for my laptop, and sat up in bed to finish doing up my resume. An hour on, I discovered the true reason why I couldn't fall asleep - I WAS FRIGGING STARVING. Apparently the hearty dinner yesterday somehow wasn't sufficient for my expanded appetite. Omg. Ended up rummaging through the fridge at 6am. And went back to my resume. FINALLY DONE.
I'm super cranky, super snappy, super irritable, super I-don't-know-what-I'm-functioning-on-now. ROAR.
It sucks to have spent much of Christmas either curled up in bed dozing off every hour or slumped in the couch watching mindless programmes on tv, with a high temp and mega headache. Hope everyone had a waaay better one than I did though!
Thankfully all's well by the morning of boxing day, and I was glad I could catch up with chris, ikh and tim. Haha bunch of monkeys indeed, but they're really a ball of fun :) And I successfully avoided booze! But not without a wee bit of inner struggle.. HAHA right, just kidding.
Time to revamp my iTouch. It's grossly underutilised, I realised.
Was just chilling out at starbucks today, reading one of my favourite novels over caramel frapp, when some dude suddenly strode towards me and, without identifying himself whatsoever, started telling me loads of random stuff. I was too stunned to remember everything, but it goes something like this: You know, you're a very lucky girl. I can see it. And very open-minded. I see in your eyes. There are many people around you who are jealous of you. Do you know who? I stared at him blankly and I think I told him I actually couldn't be bothered. He didn't give up, and even insisted, almost assuringly, you have two people who really like you now. One of them is thinking about you and is caring about you. The other broke your heart. Do you want to know who they are?
His intense expression, awkward questions and occasional quick glances at the surroundings were really freaking me out by then, so I simply requested that I get back to my book. He dropped me a polite God bless you before walking away.
I wonder if he's some kinda face-reader who couldn't resist testing his skills on random strangers?
Hmmmm okay where should I start. I think I'm slightly disappointed because: 1. My CAP dropped by 0.05 2. Not a single A for econs mods, goodness. 3. B+ even for Money & Banking that I was most confident in. Dang.
But I'm also very grateful because: 1. I did way better in environmental econs than I expected (no C, thank God) 2. A for SSA2211, which the lecturer himself proclaimed is a module that's "easy to pass but hard to score" 3. A- for cultural studies. Well, it doesn't hurt to be cynical sometimes then haha. 4. There is no room and absolutely no reason for complacency in my final 3 semesters :)
Okay, enough about grades. I'm just so so relieved. And it's Christmas soon, for Christ's sake! Was just telling uncle quan that my idea of a perfect Christmas is to sit in my couch, sip white wine and watch snow falling from the sky. I wonder when I'd get to do that! (x
Oh, a piece of really good news: my yoga instructor said I'm the only student who can move on to intermediate class! :D After just 7 lessons, I wasn't expecting that. Hee. But I've already signed up for another course of elementary classes cos I'd wana ensure my basics are really sound before I move on. Still, hooray to more yogacious days ahead! Right, I totally came up with that myself.
This reminds me of my Public Finance project more than a year ago. Boon pin's touch of brilliancy when she came up with the maiden idea for the group to work on.
Bottom: And just last weekend, I managed to pull off a very successful surprise! Tim's show was hilarious :) I must say he has a hell load of guts to swagger around in the super tight dragon outfit with "preens" that are so "boomz"!
1. Close to heart: the reason why I'm learning about utility maximisation, public good theory, multiplier-accelerator model.
2. I wonder what would be the outcome of all the action at Copenhagen. The fact that China and US are at loggerheads wasn't a surprise, was it? (x But the north-south divide is kinda disheartening.
I do appreciate consolation and kind words from friends, but I also know very well that statements along the lines of "never mind, it's over, don't think about it anymore" don't work much for me. At random moments like when I'm in bed and just about to fall asleep, unpleasant/ demoralising thoughts still haunt me. I don't deliberately nurse those thoughts; they just come and go. Deep down, I'm dreading 22 Dec. I wish I'd gladly forget about the release of results, like I did during summer break, and only realise it on the day itself :(
BUT BUT BUT, soooo happy to be meeting up with my buddies this week! Tim said he went skiiing in korea and im DEAD JEALOUS :(((( Well nvm I'm glad he's happy getting his snow (haha!). I'm grateful for the most awesomest company! Finally tried reverse bungee with kais :D We wanted to do something crazy. And we've student discounts so we thought okay why not. It turned out to be the scariest thing ever! For me, at least. The staff apparently full advantage of the fact that I was so freaked out the moment I got strapped in, they started telling me things like it's 100 times worse than any ride at genting themeparks etc (x TOTALLY psyched me up huh.
The seats were slightly tilted backwards at first. Then at the count of 2 (not even 3!) the thing shot up and the pressure was immense! Everything happened so quickly. One moment we were slammed back into our seats, the next moment we were thrown forward. And back again. My eyes were teary the moment I opened them, in mid-air, and I don't know why. My heart was at my throat, and I prolly screamed and cursed more than I should amidst all the action (x It was rather embarrassing that everything was captured on video, which we actually bought for 15 bucks and is currently in kai's possession haha. The first thing I said when we finally got lowered down was, I couldn't believe I just paid 30 bucks to do that! And the staff jokingly refused to let me out. Ohman. We were strangely exhausted thereafter. I'm glad we tried it nonetheless! :D
Oh and met up with qin today before she left for chengdu :) We spent HOURS talking about everything under the sun over sushi at hollandv. Just like the old days. It was raining and we were too lazy to go anywhere else thereafter so we just hung out at some void deck (x Can't wait for cherl to come back from norway so we can all finally catch another movie! The last one we watched together was I am Legend or something hahaha such a long time ago!
Felt reeeeeally terribly awful about the env econs paper :( It isn't paranoia- I just KNOW i screwed it up. Bad strategy, if you ask me. WHYWHYWHY didn't I just move on to the essay questions when I couldn't figure out the math questions. I couldn't believe I wrote utter crap for the 10-mark essay in the end. I think if I'd read it today I'd feel like 'dang that's so NOT me!'. I hate regretting anything. Regretting not doing my best on the spot. So much for trying to study hard/smart. On hindsight it isn't so much about not getting that A or B, but not being able to reap what you sow. Mega mega sigh.
Already feeling way better than I did yesterday though. Lunch with env proj mates and some shopping thereafter sure did some good. I bought another dress! :) Really glad that I stayed up to talk to zing and hy last night. It's such a blessing to be able to talk about things freely and not worry about being judged. I remember praying about it before I slept (was rather zonked out by then), and I think I said sorry. For allowing my emotions to get the better of me. For being stubborn. For everything that I could have tried harder in. I just need loads of courage to pull through now. And hopefully a miracle. I actually lost count of the number of times I prayed for miracles this sem. And I couldn't be more thankful that things DID turn out better than I hoped. It's like God always has his ways of working things out. AAHHH. I should really stop being a ball of negativity. Can't wait to see tim later cos he had a gig yesterday (which went well hurray!) He has been trying to get me to watch a movie called The Secret on youtube. Lots of self-help theories about emitting positive energy haha. Something along that line. Which seemed to help him a lot these few days. Hmm I guess I'll watch and see what it's got to say!
Loads of photos to be uploaded. Will try to do so asap! By next week I'd prolly have enough to collate an album in which I'd have at least three different hairstyles haha. Alrighty, time for yoga. Happy holidays all :)
Left: My favourite shot from two weekends ago :)