Thursday, December 30, 2010
best for the last!
BEHAVOURIAL ECONOMICS AND THESIS, HERE I COME.Sunday, December 26, 2010
the big T
DON'T THINK. JUST DO.Friday, December 24, 2010
returns.
I'm lovin' this holiday!!The best part of it has to be making new friends and re-creating relationships with people I've known for a long time. On a sidenote, I think I need a career that can allow me to do that every day. I want a job in which I don't have to work for a single day for the rest of my life. Is there one out there for me?
It turned out, after weeks of drama, sweat and tears, that pre-existing plans for the next 6 months will continue to stick around. I cannot be more thankful for my results. It's easy for anyone to say, the "same thing always happens no matter what crops up" or something along those lines, but I know better. Definitely wasn't a bed of roses. Anyway I just read the school email stating that the thesis proposal form is due early next month. Brrrr, time to get those rusty engines working again soon!
Finally starting to feel like a bigger person inside.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
even if I knew my place, should I leave it there?
I do have a MAJOR weakness for this kinda tone. I can listen to it all day.
Monday, December 13, 2010
"Attraversiamo. Let's cross over."
Wow this post is long overdue! It's been 18 days since exams ended, and after spending countless hours on the plane, on my getaway trips, on the road, on dining tables, in front of the computer watching every reality show/talkshow/movie ever imaginable, I've finally decided to sit down and write. I've been taking a few notes on my phone during long coach rides so I guess it's easier to put my multitude of convoluted thoughts together.Hokkaido in winter is nothing short of breathtaking :) It's almost weird, really, how easy it is for me to find a sense of peace and calmness and rejuvenation just by soaking myself in an atmosphere that's beautifully unfamiliar. I missed that feeling, alot. I won't attempt to describe how pretty the scenary was, how gorgeous the snowfall was - the pictures speak for themselves; words would do no justice. Speaking of snowfall, perhaps the only slight disappointment was that I didn't get to go skiing or take the Snow Mobile thingy. The snow came late this year, and within the duration of the trip there was insufficient snow accumulated for any of the above activities to carried out. Felt the effects of climate change up close and personal for the first time! Everyone longed for the snow as fervently as drought-plagued land craved for the rain. So when we finally woke up to a grey sky snowy chilly morning, it was enough to make us all happy.
It was my second visit to the country known for its hospitality, yet i was no less impressed. Local aunties and uncles, albeit being complete strangers to you, won't hesitate to wave hello/goodbye. The service standards and level of professionalism are, of course, second to none. Hotel personnel bow and greet you the moment you make - or appear to make - any eye contact. I also remember the queer state of mind i got lost in while watching a glassware shop assistant wrap the souvenirs that my folks bought. She had a smile etched on her face as she wrapped the fragile items in layers of paper, her fingers working as swiftly as those of a magician's.. My gawd, Subway needs people like these, I thought.
After Japan, I made a last-minute impulsive decision to hop over to our place across the causeway for a short stayover, simply cos.. I couldn't get out of the holiday mood. I've been unknowingly belittling the significance of me-time, and now I'm fiercely defending its importance and its impact. Being mentally alone empties my head and allows the positivity to rush in and fill it.
I may sound creepingly reflective, but I am all the more convinced that it's perfectly valid, now that I've finally finished reading Eat, Pray, Love. At this point I must say that I'm simply amazed by the timing of the divine. I just wasn't meant to finish it earlier this year when I first bought it, was I? Because this morning I picked up the book, polished off the last 80-odd pages, and I feel like I can empathize with every word. Omggg I'm really really glad that someone with such language prowess (thank God, Liz Gilbert) can put into words so accurately and vividly the kind of thoughts and emotions that permeate the human mind and heart, which can make people who have never experienced them think that people who have are freakish. I definitely wouldn't have felt the same way half a year ago, before I got thrown into the emotional blackhole as I called it.
I do feel like I'm ready to put many things to rest. The year is ending, Christmas is coming, timmy's flying home too.. True enough, I've never felt happier in a long, long time :)
Thursday, December 02, 2010
reality hit
Narcissistic as it may sound, what an apt title I came up with.After not watching five or six seasons of Survivor, I have actually been following the latest Nicaragua season and getting intrigued by all the scheming/backstabbing/acting/competing/fighting. I've long been convinced that there's way more drama in reality tv than drama serials. This time, nonetheless, setting aside all my usual skepticism about reality shows, there's something special in terms of what I call "timely relevance".
Two of the younger contestants quit after 28 days, citing reasons such as the elements of nature (e.g. incessant rain lasting up to 4-5 hours) getting to their psyche and physical bodies. The older contestants in their 50s and 60s couldn't help but look at them with expressions that read something like, helloooooo YOU are complaining about aching joints and the freezing cold?! WTF.
I did feel like the young contestants. Guilty as charged.
In my world there was a thunderstorm that lasted more than 4 months. It made me wana throw in the towel too. I wanted to quit myself so bad. I lost count of the number of times I took one step forward and three steps back. I kept making the same f-ing mistakes I told myself not to. I had no focus, no zest, no motivation, no sense of self-worth. I blamed others and I made others blame themselves. I was no longer as fun-loving as I always have been.
I'm really really sorry.
In a few hours I'd be going away for awhile. There's really nothing to ooh and aah over because to me this is a self-(re)discovery process in the bitter cold winter. Pull myself together, get a little breather.
I know I'm not alone.
For myself and anyone in need too:
The strongest part of us is in the deepest depths of our hearts. Imagine that there is, literally, a pillar of strength there. Search for it, grab hold of it, and hang on for your dear life. Even if it feels like you are hanging on by a thread.
Happy holidays all.