Monday, August 16, 2010

thorn.

Why on earth I made myself read those posts, I don't know. Don't ask me. Not to mention that stress levels are now up even by Week 2 of school, and I'm still fervently waiting for an all-important email that has yet to arrive. It's as if I'm actively seeking trouble and negativity in the midst of my hectic school life.

Whatever it was, I did as I felt. And I have so much to say.

I KNOW you can't stay mad for long. I KNOW you accepted my apology and you're likely to wana move on. and I KNOW those comments and conversations you initiated are your ways of saying you're fine now. And if you know me well at all, you should know that I do know all that.

But I shouldn't make that assumption. The key is, how do you expect me to face you anymore. I'd rather not reply at all than to reply and pretend that I'm comfortable and I can still share the same friendship with you like I once did. (If we actually did at all.) Call me petty and insensible all you want- I simply can't bring myself to forget what a major fool you made me out to be that day, or the way you perceived me as reflected in your writing.

And yes you're right, I apologised without caring whether I'd be granted forgiveness, so what's wrong with that? I apologised simply because I was wrong, and I did it not expecting or even thinking about getting anything in return. And if you actually suspect whether my apologies are genuine, then I'm better off without a 'friend' who doubts me to that extent.

I don't think I'm making a big deal out of a few plain statements you make on your blog. I reacted this way because I believe what you write reflect not just what you think but who you are.

Your complexities are too much for me.

by exalted! at 12:14 pm |