Saturday, June 19, 2010

silver lining

So finally I've decided to sit down and write a thoughtful entry.

5 days of training are completed. The few of us who have grown closer over the week agreed that the most valuable lessons we'd take away from the programme are the transferrable skills- how to listen, how to question, and how to strike up conversations with practically anybody and everybody. Whether or not I'd eventually venture into this industry, I know I've made a fantastic decision to participate in the training even though I'm only an intern. True enough, I had everything to gain. I'm rather proud of myself for taking the initative to speak to every trainee in class, for a start. Doing well for the test at the end of it was a bonus reward for challenging myself. And it was an honour being able to learn from the investment director and managing partners themselves. Such opportunities don't come by every day.

People relations form the basis of this industry. I dare say over the past 6 weeks I've met some of the most interesting, most inspirational, most genuine people ever. They break the monotony of a typical work life in the business district. They helped to boost my confidence a little when my morale was at an all-time low over the past couple of days. I can't be more thankful for them, but that doesn't change the fact that I still have a rock in my heart that I can't get rid of. Those words keep appearing in my head and ringing in my ears. One mistake and I became a liability, a kid, and a mess. I don't blame her for being so disappointed in me. It's just the same self-doubt and guilt that I'm having trouble handling again. Timmy says I should speak to her about it. I want to, but I think there's no point in doing so. There's nothing else to say except that I'm still sorry, and that isn't gona help anything and anyone. I need time. Loads of time. And I believe so does she. Work life has, in so many ways, made me value friendships more than ever.

I should get down to resuming editing work for prof. The other day I dropped him an email, and he was like, oh you're still alive haha (x Darn, I feel bad!

by exalted! at 5:39 pm |